Why Am I So Tired All the Time? When Mental Load Turns Into Burnout
- Claire McGrath
- Apr 7
- 4 min read
Do you ever feel a heavy tiredness and constantly drained, even when you get enough sleep? Carrying around constant mental exhaustion can leave you wondering “why am I always tired?” Feeling constantly tired even when you are doing everything right can be very frustrating, you are not alone in this feeling.
Feeling Exhausted Doesn’t Always Mean You are Physically Tired
There’s a difference between physical tiredness and mental or emotional exhaustion. When we’re physically tired, often we can rest and feel re-energised. However, with mental
exhaustion, no matter how much you sleep, coffees you drink or rests you have the heaviness never goes away. We all have a certain amount of mental resources, the space we have in our brain to think, make decisions and function in our everyday life. Emotional stress, decision fatigue and constant thinking drain out resources quickly, which is something a power nap cannot restore.
The Hidden Mental Load Many Adults Carry
Many adults carry around the Hidden Mental Load. Everyday, we are thinking about what work we are doing, our budget, what to have for dinner, caring for others, carrying around the family calendar or keeping up with the information overwhelm from social media or the constant news cycle. This Hidden Mental Load drains our cognitive resources, quickly. When we have significant stress, like financial stress, starting Year 12 or university, changes at work or in our relationships with others, this load gets heavier and heavier until the amount of work it takes drains our cognitive capacity.
When Stress Turns Into Burnout
Stress is a natural part of life, and can even motivate us and provide energy to get the assignment in, meet a work deadline or reach our goals. However, stress is meant to be short lived, related to a something specific and our symptoms of stress resolve when our stressor does. Stress turns into burnout when a chronic pressure builds and builds on us, leaving only a constant physical and emotional exhaustion in its wake.
Common burnout symptoms can include
- Brain fog
- Low motivation
- Irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- Self-doubt
- Constant overwhelm, or overwhelm by small tasks
- Constant physical sickness like frequent colds and flu, or more intense cold and fly symptoms
Burnout Isn’t Just a Workplace Problem
We often think of burnout connected to our working lives. Remember, burnout comes from stress and the Hidden Mental Load, that comes with all parts of our life. When we are parents, we are not only holding our own stress, but the stress of our family, self-doubt about parenting and constant competing demands and needs on your system, which can lead to burnout. When studying, the pressure of academic performance, worry about our future and constant deadlines build on our cognitive resources. Managing chronic mental health concerns, like chronic anxiety, can send our nervous system into overdrive. When we are neurodiverse in a neurotypical world, the constant stresses of living in a world not designed for us builds and builds on our system. ADHD burnout and Autistic Burnout can be caused by frequently masking, sensory overload and executive dysfunction.
Signs Your Nervous System Might Be Overloaded
When our nervous system is overloaded, we might feel
- Constant fatigue
- Trouble switching off
- Constant thought rumination
- Sleep disruption, not being able to fall asleep or waking during the night
- Feeling mentally flooded
- Muscle tension
- Digestive issues
What Actually Helps When Mental Load Is Too High
When our mental load is too high, it can feel like nothing can help. Taking small steps to take things off our plate can help reduce our cognitive load. Priorities your own self care and recovery time, we can’t pour from an empty cup, taking care of ourselves is taking care of
everyone in our life. Find small activities that work for you and bring energy back into your life, this might be exercising, spending time with friends or loved ones, spending time in nature of intention alone time. Set realistic boundaries with your school, work, family and social commitments, remember we only have so many cognitive resources, it’s up to you how you use them. Take frequent time to regulate our nervous system, notice when we’re feeling dysregulated and finds grounding strategies that work for you, this may be box breathing, rhythmic movement, meditation and mindfulness or exercise, movement or exposure to nature. Building in “me time” to our routine or adding in a yoga or breathwork practice into a week can help us balance ourselves.
When It Might Help to Talk to a Psychologist
When our mental exhaustion and fatigue start to interfere with our daily life, relationships, study, work or family, this may be a good time to see a psychologist. Therapy for burnout can support you with burnout recovery, help you understand your nervous systems and signs of burnout and dysregulation, support you to place healthy boundaries, manage anxiety and stress or support your ADHD and manage executive functioning. Therapy for burnout can also help you understand your triggers, your relationships with work and study and how to prevent burnout in the future. Even when we’re functioning and coping in our day to day, the space for us to be heard, validated and explore and sit with our feelings is invaluable.
If You’re Feeling Exhausted All the Time, You’re Not Weak
Burnout and exhaustion is a message from our nervous system that something needs to change. This is not a personal failure, but a signal. Listening to your body and checking in with ourself can be the bravest thing we do.
Helpful Resources (If You Want to Learn More)
If you’d like to learn more, these extra resources can help
Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/work/burnout
Health Direct - https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/work-life-balance
If you’re experiencing distress or concerned about your safety, reach out and talk to someone – call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636
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