Something Does not Feel Right... What Many Parents Notice Before Seeking Answers
As your child grow and develops, you may notice some concerns that you have about your child and their development. This may come across as worry, confusion, or even a gut feeling you can not quite put your finger on. You are not alone, and this is a common feeling a lot of parents have. When this feeling arises repeatedly, this might be the time to seek out a child psychologist and get some of the answers to when something just does not feel quite right.
Something Just Doesn't Feel Right.. You are Not Alone
As psychologist we make sure to remember one thing about our young clients. This is the fact that the clients and their parents know best. As a parent you have an intuition that others just do not have. You see them play, learn, experience, and engage with the world around them, and the human mind is great at noticing small moments. When concerns arise, there is nothing to feel guilty about. These feelings often arise from love and care, and they are seen in the majority of parents.
What This Can Look Like
What might this feeling stem from? Well, you may notice some changes or challenges throughout their develop. This could include:
· Difficulty with homework
· Emotional dysregulation during transitions between home and school
· Teacher feedback about effort or attention
· Disagreements with, or separation from peers.
· A high, or low, amount of structure needed during their day.
· An ‘after school crash’ at the end of a school day or week, when they usually find themselves lacking energy.
Why Parents Often Notice It First
As mentioned above, parents are daily observers of their young person, and in early childhood, parents are usually spending more time with young person more than anyone else. Children also can feel comfortable at home, feeling that they can unmask in front of a safe person. If neurodiversity is suspected, a parent may notice those subtle developmental differences that another adult or professional may not be looking for.
When It Might Be More Than 'Just a Phase'
As psychologists that work with young people, we often hear the statement ‘it could just be a phase’. This can absolutely be the case. However, what we look out for as psychologists at Advanced Psychology, is enduring patterns that will often increase in intensity over time. Maybe the impact that these behaviours or difficulties increase as demands for independence are increased. Often, we want to ask ourselves, do these experiences and these feelings that parents have, maintain along the good times, the bad times, and the times in-between. If the answer to that question is yes, in any capacity, then this may be a sign that it’s more than ‘just a phase’.
Signs It May Be Worth Looking Into Further
Some signs that it may be worth looking into further with a psychologist or other professional are:
· Ongoing or increasing family stress as a result of these behaviours
· Repeated school feedback across teachers and subjects
· Increasing impact into personal or school lives
· Challenges that are seen in more than one area of their life.
· Emotional distress that continues even on the good days.
What Actually Helps
As parents, there is plenty that you can do to support your child, independent or with the help of others. Observing and looking out for new or emerging behaviours in your child can help stay in the loop and point you in the right direction. Trying to adapt or reduce the pressure on your child and seeing how that helps or hinders them. Focusing on communication between yourself and the young person, what they may be experiencing is normal and is normal to talk about. It’s also incredibly important to be working with teachers and other adults in their life, to get a greater and deeper perspective on what your child needs to succeed.
What to Avoid
What we want to avoid as parents is assuming that a child will ‘grow out of it’. Dismissing concerns and waiting for things to change, may delay seeking answers. Additionally, while it may be easy to compare with other children, even within the own family, this may give us a biased perspective on what is developmentally appropriate, meaning that adjustments may not be consistent across contexts.
When to Consider Professional Support
Assessment is beneficial when observation requires answers that a parent or teacher may not be able to answer. It is not a tool to check a box and provide a diagnosis, but instead it can help understand their learning profile and guide support both at home and at school. At Advanced Psychology, our goal with assessment and reports is to find ways to support a young person through their challenges, and highlight strengths to focus further engagement at school and life.
You Know Your Child Better Than Anyone
Remember, you know your child better than anyone. Parental instinct is real, and trusting that instinct will likely lead to finding the answers, and the right supports that your child needs. An assessment, or a subsequent diagnosis, does not create the concerns, instead it provides a way to support your young person in managing their own learning and functional needs.
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