Helping Children Cope: Anxiety Tools That Actually Work

It is important to teach children the right tools to manage their feelings and build resilience, especially when there are signs of worry and anxiety.  Sometimes anxiety can show up as irritability, difficulties with sleeping, and physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomaches. In this post, we will explore some coping strategies to assist with anxiety and help children feel more in control, which are backed up by research.

Daily Coping Skills to Teach Kids

·       Name it to Tame It: This technique involves assisting children to recognise and name what they are feeling, such as “I am feeling nervous.” If we can put our feelings into words, this may assist with feeling calmer and being more in control of our feelings (Siegel et al., 2012).

·       Positive Self-Talk: It is important to encourage positive self-talk, such as “I have done this before,” “I can do this” and “this is just a feeling, it will pass.” This can assist with creating a more positive mindset.

·       Movement: Encourage physical movement ad exercise, for example, a quick dance or some star jumps, as this can reduce stress.

·       Relaxation and Mindfulness: Engaging in something relaxing, such as drawing, colouring in and the use of fidget and sensory toys. Engaging in regular mindful meditation can assist with managing anxious thoughts. Additionally, mindful belly breathing can help a child shift from a stressed state into a more regulated one.

·       Worry Journals: Encourage children to write or draw their worries which can assist with externalising them and being more in control of their worries.

Creating Calm Routines at Home and at School

Calm routines can be a useful for anxiety, both in the home and school setting. If a child knows what to expect then they are going to feel calmer and safer. 

·       Use of a cosy quiet corner, which can be filled with books, drawing/colouring in, and sensory items to use when feeling overwhelmed and a time for relaxation. This can be done both at school and at home.

·       At school, use of a visual daily plan can be helpful for children to know what to expect for the school day. At home, regular morning and bedtime routines with the use of visual schedules so kids know what to expect. The Courageous Kids App has visual plans tool to reduce anxiety, please see link for more information: Courageous Kids Website

·       Regular mindfulness and sensory breaks throughout the day to have time to calm the mind and body.

·       Normalise talking about feelings and check-ins throughout the day.

How Psychologists Use Evidence-Based Anxiety Interventions

Sometimes, children’s anxiety can become too big to manage alone, therefore seeking support from a psychologist can be helpful. Psychologists use some of the below evidence-based anxiety interventions.

·       Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT can assist children to understand their negative anxious thoughts/worries and focus on changing them into more positive thinking.

·       Play Therapy: For younger children, psychologists use toys and games to assist kids to express and identify emotions, especially when it is difficult to express them using words.

·       Parent Support: Regular parent sessions can be helpful to understand your child’s anxiety and provide parents with strategies to reinforce healthy coping skills in the home environment.

·       Exposure Therapy: For some anxiety related disorders, exposure therapy can be helpful to assist children to gently and gradually face their fears instead of avoiding them. 

Tools that Build Long Term Resilience

Building resilience involves the ability to bounce back from stressful situations. Here are some effective tools to help your child build resilience.

·       Nurture a positive self-view: Assist your child to remember how they have managed to cope through past difficult times and how these challenges can support them in managing difficulties in the future (American Psychological Association, 2012).

·       Teach problem solving skills: Assisting children with breaking problems into manageable parts and to learn to think through challenges. It is important to focus on what you can control. Asking your child “what if” scenarios or asking questions, such as “what are your options?”

·       Gratitude practice and positivity journals: It may be helpful to practice gratitude and have regular reflection on what went well in their day. You could ask your child “what was the best part of your day?” Additionally, keeping a small journal of all the good things in their life and what they are grateful for. 

·       Growth Mindset: It is important to teach kids that putting in an effort and practicing leads to improvement, and that mistakes are part of learning. It is useful to use consistent praise, therefore using phrases such as “you worked really hard on that” and “it’s okay to make a mistake, that is how we learn.”

·       Zones of Regulation: Teaching kids the zones of regulation can assist them to recognise their feelings and develop strategies to assist with self-regulation.

·       Model Resilience: Children learn through observing adults in their life and how they handle stressful situations. It can be helpful to regularly narrate your thoughts when faced with difficult situations, such as “this is really difficult for me, I might take a break and try again later.”

References

American Psychological Association., (2012). Resilience guide for parents and teachers. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

Kendall, P. C., Robin, J. A., Hedtke, K. A., Suveg, C., Flannery-Schroeder, E., & Gosch, E. A. (2005). Considering CBT with anxious youth? Think exposures. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 12(1), 136–150. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1077-7229(05)80048-3

Kuypers, L. M. (n.d.). The Zones of Regulation. Social Thinking. https://www.zonesofregulation.com/

Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. Bantam Books.

Zoogman, S., Goldberg, S. B., Hoyt, W. T., & Miller, L. (2015). Mindfulness interventions with youth: A meta-analysis. Mindfulness, 6(2), 290–302. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-013-0260-4